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Love's Secret Languages
Young Victorian women and their beaus had to adhere to ridged rules that governed behavior and restricted communication between the sexes. Strict etiquette was the rule of the day and young lovers were prohibited to speak their minds - or even speak at all. Romantic gestures in the 19th century were hardly verbal, nor tolerated. So what was a lover to do? Necessity is indeed the Mother Of Invention! Young ladies (and men) used every day items to send codes of a romantic nature to get their point across. Secret messages were sent with hand-held fans, lace handkerchiefs, a parosol...to name a few.
Love Will Find A Way!A proper up-bringing did not allow conversation with a man to whom a young lady had not been formally introduced. Nor to accompany a man to the theater with out his having obtained permission from her parents. He was also committed to invite the mother or a chaperone to accompany them.A variety of unspoken languages developed as a result. These allowed certain subtle expressions of interest and love to be conveyed in ways that were, or seemed to be, perfectly proper. Fluorography” - the Language of Flowers
This secret love language was depicted through flowers, their colors and the way they were combined or presented.
This was perhaps the most celebrated mode of silent communication used, as there were very few gifts a young lady could accept from a man that she was not formally engaged to. Accepting flowers was acceptable. A bouquet of flowers was made up to represent a message to be sent. Each blossom carried its own meaning.
Meaning Of The BlossomsThe rose was and is the most popular of flowers. It symbolizes the depth of passion. How it was presented had a meaning as well.
A single rose bud means simplicity, One in full bloom means “I love you”, And a pair of intertwined stems means “togetherness”.
Sentiments of other popular blooms are:
The Tussie Mussie
Since we are talking about the importance of Fluorography (the language of flowers)
We can not go any further unless we talk about the Tussie Mussie.
Tussie mussie is a medieval word which means “sweet posie”. It’s a small nosegay, made up of tightly bound flowers and herbs, each with its own meaning. At first these were used back in the day when sanitation was poor. Both men and women held these fragrant nosegays up close to their nose to sniff the refreshing blossoms to mask the odors of the streets. Men also placed them atop their walking sticks or on their lapels. Women wore them on their arms, held them in their hands, or placed them in tiny vials of water attached to their bodice. Victorian men would present them to their Beloved to express their feelings of love and passion. He carefully chose the right combination of flowers to send his message loud and clear. Victorian women would gather and carry a "message" with them in a tussie mussie, so he would know her reply. The Hues Of LoveNot only did each flower depict a meaning, their colors sent a great message as well:
Calling CardsVictorians did not restrict themselves to fresh blossoms. Pressed flowers pressed in a book or in an envelope would do. Also pictures of florals on stationary or a card could give greater meaning than the very words on the card or in the letter.
Hence the Calling Card Calling cards were decorative little cards which bore only the users imprinted or hand-scripted signature. They were presented or left to make a visit.
If a suitor wished to remain secret he would use a ‘hidden-name’ calling card. These were decoratively embossed with a die-cut section to be lifted and a signature placed “secretly” underneath. These floral appliqués could also communicate messages of love with the selection of florals embossed on each one.
The "Love" LetterToday it is mandatory that the postage be place in the upper right hand corner, approximately ¼” from the top and right sides. Long ago there were no rules for postage stamp placement, so this was left up to the sender.
Clever lovers soon found a way to send a message with out written words, but through the stamps themselves. This was a little known method of communication between lovers. Once the letter was approved by the young lady’s mother or guardian, the stamp conveyed a special message to the recipient.
Sealed With Love
Because envelopes did not always come with glued flaps, a seal of melted wax was often used to seal the envelope. The wax came in many colors which conveyed a message. Such as:
The Handkerchief
The handkerchief was a ladies fashion accessory that was also used to convey a message. Not only were they adorned with fine laces and hand embroidered flowers, which sent a message, the way they were handles spoke in volumes.
The Ladies Fan
This fashion accessory was not only a used to conceal a lovers kiss from prying eyes, it was a daring way of communication. Though complex it sent many a message across the room to a suitor.
These artful gestures were practiced for hours by young ladies, so their messages could be sent without a hitch. In turn, men were in study of these movements to translate their meanings. A hopeful suitor watched intently to see if he could pick up a message from his sweetheart across a crowed room.
These messages included:
The Parasol
The Parasol was a symbol of high breading and an innate part of the subtle art of flirtation.
Victorian woman were enamored with keeping a fine porcelain complexion. To have a fair complexion showed she was a lady of fine breading and that she did not have to work out of doors in the sun as a common woman would. The parasol provided protection from direct sun light. The difference between a parasol and an umbrella were quite significant in Victorian society. A Victorian lady would never be caught in the rain. Umbrellas were carried by men to protect a lady as he walked her from the front door to the enclosed carriage. For a woman to carry an umbrella was to announce that she could not afford to own or hire a carriage for transportation in the rain.
A woman who carried a parasol however was most certainly a “Lady of fine breeding”! She carried it in the sun to convey her status and class to all of society and she made this clearly visible for all to see.
By the 1800’s the parasol became quite a fashion statement and a wardrobe necessity. The elegant parasol became one of the most beloved gifts a gentleman could give to his sweetheart. But because of their expense, the extravagance of giving such a gift called for great consideration. It would have been improper for a gentleman to give a parasol to a young lady that he did not have serious intentions towards. In return, it would not have been proper for a young lady to accept it if she did not have intentions towards him. It became customary for the groom to give a parasol to his bride as a wedding gift. The symbol of femininity and romance, the parasol was used to send many a flirtatious messages. A skilled young lady could cleverly conceal a gaze or a smile toward her intended from her chaperone.
Here are a few clever flirtatious ways to use your parasol:
Eventually the Victorian era came to an end & with it, femininity & charm of the flirtatious parasol.
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